Monday, March 23, 2009

Feeling a little blue

So far today I'm not a happy camper. Today's my 43rd birthday, and no being 43 is not the issue. I was just hoping my cares and worries would decide to take the day off. Alas that hasn't happened. I tested my run form yesterday with 5x1 mile repeats w/3min rest between. The target was to run them all in the 5:37 - 5:40 range. The result was not so consistent: 5:40 - 5:58 as follows:
Mile# Time Avg HR Max HR
1 5:40 155 162
2 5:40 156 165
3 5:54 157 164
4 5:45 153 163
5 5:58 153 164

Laps 1,3,and 5 had a bit of headwind (5-10mph for .25 mile). That would be a tailwind on the same .25 during laps 2 and 4.

This is one of those 1/2 full 1/2 empty things. Much better than I could have managed 8 wks ago, but not what I hoped. I had been really good for 2 wks leading up to this, but the last 3 days it hasn't been there for me. It's distressing for me because the last 3 times I've tested myself, I've underperformed. My life is all about momentum and because the run wasn't there yesterday, the positive mo' isn't here today. And I'm 43, which means I'm back to wondering if this is the year the slide begins.

I'm running a 10k this Sunday. It's one I did last year which means I potentially have my first true year over year test. I top last year, 37:45, and suddenly all is right in my world. I need this. My work life took an unexpected downturn. It's not a matter of me hating the job that needs to be done. It's actually worse than that. I love the challenge of the job that needs to be done. I'm just not being allowed to do it. Yes I really need a win in some aspect of my life. I like to think of myself as the irresistible force who by virtue of his endurance and strength of will, will eventually succeed. But I'm being reminded my reserves are indeed not limitless. So I'm running the 10k because I must. I need the chance of the positive affirmation it can be. I need to see progress.

Until then I'm going to be a bit sullen and moody.