Sunday, August 06, 2006

Bye-Bye Vacation...

As stated in the previous post, I've just returned from vacation in Ogunquit, ME. There are stories, mostly of the adventures of Alexandra variety. I will spare you those (for now), and just brain dump some "odd"-servations.

There are lots of French Canadians who vacation in Maine.

Breast implants must be more affordable in Canada (Sacré Bleu!). My guess is the money not used on healthcare is used for boobs. Either that or they've figured out how to beat the system and the government is paying for lots of D cups under the guise of health related treatment. Hey why should the U.S. be the only place where people thrive off of government programs?!

Steamed hotdogs (as opposed to boiled, broiled, or grilled) are seen as a delicacy.

Apparently some people go on vacation for the sole purpose of sitting by the pool and getting stinking drunk everyday while their 4 year old swims on her own. Molly's mommy was last seen falling backward off her chaise into a shrubbery!

Here are some guidelines for selecting a restaurant when in an unfamiliar place:

You should avoid restaurants whose name is someone's idea of a clever play on words (e.g. Mainiax), even if they do toast s'mores at your table. Speaking of s'mores at the table, it's really not as cool as you'd think. In the great outdoors there's plenty of air available to clear the smog when junior ignites his marshmellow. Stuck indoors with no moving air because of the extreme heat outside, you might as well have set a pile of car tires ablaze.

You should avoid restaurants (and we did) who go above and beyond advertising their "Early Bird". It appears (according to the face made by the girl at the hotel when we asked her about the restaurant) to be the food service version of the "Manager's Special" at the grocery store.

You should avoid "outliers." Most crowded, longest wait, cheapest prices, shortest wait, no crowd, etc... They're either overrated or empty for a reason. Come on, in a huge tourist spot, what are the odds of being the only people to find "that hidden gem!"

Italian restaurants who overuse the colors red, white and green, restaurants with the word "Blue" in the name (Blue Elephant, Blue Star Grille) , or Southern BBQ in arguably the world's headquarters for Lobster and seafood are also places to skip if you have options.

I've got lots more, but I've also got work tomorrow, so Bonsoir!