Sunday, January 02, 2005

A "Thank you" to the Jolly Old Elf

Dear Santa,

Thanks for tall the wonderful presents for Alexandra and the rest of us. In the spirit of continual giving, I wish to give to you a few suggestions for future improvements to the whole Christmas experience.

1) Require psychological evaluation for all elves. While every little girls loves to receive a doll for Christmas, as a parent I must say some of the ones produced this year are down right creepy. We've even named one "bride of Chuckie." The elf who made it might have some issues.

2) Give an extra bonus to the elf who first came up with the concept of flannel lined pants. Sure they weigh a little more, but they're so comfortable I could sit naked in a pair until next year. An hour in these babies is better than ....!

3) Easy on the wire fasteners for the children’s toys. It requires all sorts of tools and gadgets just to get the darn things out of the boxes. I know you don't want some grinch to come by and steal them, but there has to be a middle ground.

4) Finally, maybe you could make a second trip around the world on the 26th to pickup all the garbage produced from the boxing and wrapping. I'm sure you must have a spare sled or two in which some of the more "toy production challenged" elves (see suggestion #1) could go and do waste removal. Honestly, I can't get into the door of my house right now.

That's all for now. Thanks for showing us a wonderful Christmas, and think seriously about my suggestions for next year.